DLP SUCKS
Presented By Jazz
"I Blocked the CEO. Twice."
@m_taylor_dlpadmin | DLP Administrator, Global Banking Corp
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"Labels Won't Save Us"
@k_hassan_architect | Data Security Architect, Enterprise Cloud Co.
"40K Alerts. 0 Action"
@soc_dir_nik | SOC Director, Global Logistics
"My DLP Knows my risk score, not my name."
@just_a_risk_score | Security Analyst, Global FinTech
"false alerts!"
@false_pos_daily | SOC Analyst L1, MSSP
"blocked by accident"
@j_santos_pm | Product Manager, SaaS Startup
"0 Actual Breaches Caught"
@c_rivers_ciso | CISO, Healthcare Network
"So Long as DLP Does Not Listen, The People Are Not Free"
@a_osei_privacy | Privacy Officer, International NGO
"Alerts Cost More Than Breaches"
@s_park_secops | Security Operations Manager, Investment Firm
"45,000 Alerts / Day"
@l_burns_soc2 | SOC Analyst L2, Regional Bank
"Compliance ≠ Security."
@p_walsh_vp | VP of Information Security, Fortune 500 Retailer
"Ctrl+C Is Not a Crime"
@dev_noreply_x | Senior Software Engineer, FinTech Startup
"can't send my own word"
@wordsmith_k | Technical Writer, Enterprise Software Co.
"I Blocked the CEO. Twice."
@m_taylor_dlpadmin | DLP Administrator, Global Banking Corp
"HIPAA says yes. DLP says no"
@hipaa_nightmare | Compliance Manager, Regional Hospital System
"Context Not Noise"
@t_reeves_deteng | Detection Engineer, Cyber Insurance Co.
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DLP Sucks Confessions
Twenty years of tickets, alerts, and exceptions. Behind every number is someone who got blocked.
"Blocked Door"
@aaron.detect.eng | Detection Engineer, Fintech
"Teams: BlockEd. Breach: FiNe."
@helpdesk_horror | IT Support Lead, Mid-size Manufacturer
"DLP Ruined My Life"
@dlp_admin_anon | Security Analyst, Regional Credit Union
"My Laptop Is on Fire"
@m_kim_infraops | Infrastructure Engineer, E-commerce Platform
"Missed 40GB. Caught a Meme"
@insider_threat_q | Insider Threat Analyst, Defense Contractor
"WFH Killed the DLP"
@remote_sec_r | Cloud Security Architect, Consulting Firm
"Make DLP Great Again"
@old_guard_infosec | VP of Information Security, Insurance Co.
"3 Vendors, 0 Solutions."
@vendor_tired_v | CISO, Mid-market Financial Services
"DLP = Lies"
@pentest_pete | Red Team Lead, Security Consulting Firm
"The real breach hid behind 2,000 false positives."
@ir_forensics_a | Digital Forensics Lead, MSSP
"who approved this"
@security_auditor_m | External Security Auditor, Big 4 Firm
"When Security Becomes Surveillance, Resistance Becomes Duty"
@privacy_sec_m | Principal Security Architect, Tech Giant
"Blocked. Again."
@sales_blocked_t | Enterprise Sales Engineer, Software Co.
"Work Not Workarounds"
@workaround_king | IT Operations Manager, Pharmaceutical Co.
"Stone Ruleset"
@chris_blueteam_8 | Blue Team Lead, Aerospace
"Shadow DLP. No Owner."
@shadow_it_s | Security Architect, Global Investment Bank
"Stop Tuning. Start Thinking"
@no_more_tuning | Senior Security Engineer, Cloud Services Co.
"policy.doc blocked by policy.doc"
@policy_paradox | GRC Manager, Insurance Group
"We Paid for Noise"
@roi_reckoning | VP of Security Operations, Retail Chain
"your DLP disagrees"
@lost_in_dlp | CISO, HealthTech Co.
"Teams Hate Breach Jake"
@helpdesk_horror | IT Support Lead, Mid-size Manufacturer
"DLP Ruined my Life"
@dlp_admin_anon | Security Analyst, Regional Credit Union
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sound familiar? you're not alone.
Join the protest
Jazz is rebuilding DLP from scratch - so security teams stop suffering, business stops getting blocked, and analysts stop drowning in noise. The protest is just the beginning.
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